It was an evening of action-packed testimonies and a powerful presentation. Kampala Serena Hotel was burning with optimism following Dr Robert Burale’s breathtaking talk on personal and career transformation. It was a spice of his life story and lessons therefrom. The sold-out event was a sign of the thirst there is when it comes to personal development. The event was organised by Pepe Minambo, an organisational culture transformation consultant at The Motivation Hub. Here are the 9 lessons I picked from the flamboyant pastor, speaker, author and actor.
Timing is everything
The time you check in onto earth and the time you check out is a constant. What you have time for is the period in-between. Check-in is the time we are born and check-out is the time we die. We don’t have a role to play in the occurrence of the two (save for a few cases of check-out). The time when we are able and alive, we have all the potential to put it to very productive and good use and should therefore do everything to make it count.
Find your purpose on earth
Most people don’t know who they are if you took their titles away from them. Many of us are defined by our jobs. We are our jobs yet they end sometimes unceremoniously. We need to invest in knowing our purpose of being here and dedicating time to becoming those things we are meant to be- and this is usually beyond our jobs and titles.
Growing up privileged is not enough
There is a lot about growing up that is beyond growing up in privilege. Dr Burale grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth. He went to the best schools in Kenya and the University of Leicester in the UK. This was not enough for a person who was very bitter at heart. Parents and individuals need to go beyond the privileges and instil a sense of purpose early in life.
Get rid of the past demons and hurt
Molested at a tender age, he harboured a bitterness that was unknown to the entire world. It all began at home. Their maid at home molested him when he was a very young boy. This sparked off an endless pursuit of hurting every woman he came across starting from as early as primary school. And this messed him up. So, if you want to get ahead early in life, so some soul searching and get rid of all past demons and bitterness. You will be grateful that you did.
Face your fears and addictions
Most people are running away from something. We are sometimes public successes but private failures. Throughout school, and early in adult life, Burale was struggling with accepting the person on the inside who was struggling. While at university, he started the habit of going to strip clubs. It was this habit that drowned him into a debt of KSH 7 million. He lived large and his was an expensive addiction.
With a successful TV show- (Kenya My Land) he was a public success but a private failure. He appeared to be powerful on the inside and yet very broken on the inside. His addictions could not fill up the void there was. He was short of resources to fund the same. He struggled with suicide. He thought of ending his life thrice. First, he wanted to end his life for the inadequacy that his addictions gave him. Secondly, he lost his marriage and he thought he should end his life too. Later, when he sank deep into debt, auctioneers would always be knocking to come for yet another item. He lost everything and for days, he went on an empty stomach. As much as he survived the suicide, he escaped with a stroke that left him down for three months.
It was until he faced the man in the mirror and chose to conquer his past and addictions that he got another shot at life. You too can face the man in the mirror. You can only run away for so long. Running away is easier but it is not sustainable. You can not run forever. Once you realise you have something you are dealing with, garner as much courage as you can to face the man in the mirror.
Beware of transactional relationships
Most of the people around you just want the titles or privileges that come with whatever you are having. “Before other people, you are either a suspect or a target.” Identify true friends.
The next big opportunity is about the next big move you make
In all our struggles, Burale argues there is always an opportunity waiting to be tapped into. Opportunities will always come but what we do with them is what will make or break us. He advises, “If you don’t take it, no one will give it to you.”
You have to deal with yourself
The stylish speaker had to put his act together when it occurred to him that he only had one option; to deal with his issues or they were going to deal with him. He had to deal with the bitterness he carried for years. It occurred to him that he was not furnishing the other women, it was himself he was punishing. It was he who was in debt. It was him struggling with the rest of his personal image. He had to heal. He advises his audience to have a strategic plan on how to take back their life and another on how to be in a better place than they can be right now.
Work with what you have, rather than worr about what you don’t have
Whatever you have on you is enough for you to start a new life. After being indebted, the only way Burale had to jump out of this abyss was to find a way of earning more money. He realised he could speak. He turned his mouth into a business. He took on any speaking engagement that came to him. A TV show, a radio show, a pastor, a coach, a motivational speaker and an actor. Today he charges USD2,500 an hour for speaking engagements. After all that he went through, he confesses; “I fear poverty with all I have. That is why I work hard.”